can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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