Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize