Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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