I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
