watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
