i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
