just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
