so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize