You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
