You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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