this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
