Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize