I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
third nipple confirmed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
