PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
