is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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