Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
