Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize