Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
