enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
did i just pee glitter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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