Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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