literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
