never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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