she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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