omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
