omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
