So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
