I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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