That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
