One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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