WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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