Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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