If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
