i really wish james franco would like my vagina
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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