His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
