I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
