Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
