Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
