Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
