Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
