I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
