just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize