I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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