He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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