Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
