Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He felt like a one man threesome
I intend to get homeless drunk
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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