This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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