He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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