I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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