Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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