I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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