Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
