Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
