My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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