Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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