he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
