i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
