if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
