sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude i'm inner monologue high
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
