i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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