I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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