at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
